Even when I feel like nothing has happened for the past eight or nine days, I still ought to post SOMEthing, so here goes….

Sunday night we noticed the cat was having trouble with his back legs, and Monday I got him a vet appointment for Thursday (the soonest they could see him.) Tuesday we went to IKEA in Sacramento. I got a small storage box (fit most of my drawing supplies, pens and office things in it) and a soap dish (woo!) Wednesday I went to Yreka, got a couple of books at the library and found that one ILL was the wrong edition, and doesn’t *contain* the chapter I want to read (therefore, need to take it back and try to request the specific ed I need.) Did some shopping. Thursday we went to the vet, Ivan stayed all afternoon and had things done to him, tests run, bunch of question marks all around, but he’s been doing well on the meds they gave me and it may just be a few smaller ailments that made him miserable. Yesterday I picked up some apricot black tea that is just lovely.

Since last I lamented, I took my writing goals down, because they need… revision. I’m not giving up on the goals themselves, but I need to rethink some of them and make more of a… game plan? I’m still figuring some things out, and I think what I’m learning this fall will figure greatly into the projects I choose.

I did decide last night, however, that I’m going to write a short story before year’s end no matter what. I don’t care how bad it is, I don’t care how strange it is, I’m going to write it and complete something, just one thing, before 2009. I hope to be in the January How to Think Sideways class — registration for October is open until Monday, if you’re interested! I figure if I can get one small thing written and have my goals and objectives (both the writing goals and just goals in general) straightened out a bit before the new year, I’ll be ready to jump in and work. I think I’m getting there. I’m in preparation now. I’m having to really think about some things I’ve always assumed I’d write, and consider some things I’ve overlooked. I enjoy reading a lot of different things, but that doesn’t mean I should (or could, even) write some of those things. I need to look at my natural tendencies and strengths, not just… things I like to read. Or things I want to do, want to write.

It’s a tough thing to have to say, “well I love this but I’m better at that, so how do I marry the two?” It’s not giving up; it’s more that I’m never going to be able to do what certain authors do so well. I have my own “do so well” and I’m in the process of figuring that out. I have my own path to forge, here.

Last month, I started keeping a notebook of favorite things — short stories that really spoke to me, for instance — and this week I’ve been noting down my favorite authors and what about their writing I liked so much. It’s amazing how something like this can point things out that I might not have noticed otherwise. For instance, that I like Timothy Zahn’s writing, particularly his Star Wars work, because he offers an extremely, EXTREMELY balanced space opera — equal parts military, politics, diplomacy, action, intrigue, humor and romance. There’s a bit of everything in his work, and it makes for a splendid bento box of a story.

For another example, although I love the setting of Megan Whalen Turner’s Attolia books, what really makes them (for me) is the fantastic main character. (The leading ladies are terrific, as well.) John C. Wright’s writing is profoundly magnetic, despite the mind-boggling scale and dizzying complexity — he really makes me feel the limits of my brain. Strange and beautiful, Holly Lisle’s worlds, plots and characters are many-layered, richly detailed and never quite what you think they are.

There’s a lot more, but that gives a sampling at least. I’ve been trying to really figure out my tastes; what draws me to a story, what aspects I need to be interested, what aspects attract me again and again. It’s a long process, but each time I try an exercise like this, I become more keenly aware of what it is I like. I’m still pre-planning a short story, but progress is slow because I’ve been researching so many things and reading like it’s going out of style.

I’ve been reading science fiction nearly nonstop — took a break this weekend to finally read Dragonhaven, really didn’t care for it overall. I read the first of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ Mars books, A Princess of Mars and have the second book on order from the library. I’m halfway through The Golden Transcendence now, and still working on Worlds Apart; the latter is so scholarly that it takes some time and concentration to go through. (Also, the reading is so good that I don’t want to miss anything by being tired or distracted.)

I went through all of my writing notes last night (everything loose, that is) and got rid of most everything written pre-NaNoWriMo 2002. My high school writing, by and large, was crap, and most of the ideas weren’t worth keeping. I found a lot of newer ideas to keep, however, and now everything is organized by project, and better yet, all in one place. I have a nice bookish/writerly corner of my office going. (The rest of it is a disaster area.)

I’ve been going through my library again, in anticipation of a future Powell’s visit, purging out any books I don’t use for reference and/or don’t feel like reading again. Temporarily I have more shelf space, but aforementioned future visit will assuredly eat up any space I might have at this point in time. (And probably put me back into negative shelf space.) Some things I’ve read, liked and am selling, because I don’t feel the need to reread (or the desire; I reread things I really, really like, and not everything I like has the stick-with-me power it needs to stay on my shelf.)

It’s illuminating to see what stuff I’m selling despite liking — what things really speak to me and what don’t. Good books are dishes I like to relish again and again, annually or not-so-annually. Some days I wake up and find I have need to dip into an old but familiar story, a well-loved setting, and refresh myself.

…I keep telling myself I’m not going to review Dragonhaven, but it’s almost impossible to post and not express my feelings just a little! Some things were quite interesting. Some premises were really… super great. And the telling of the story, and certain other things about the book made it almost torturous to read — in fact, I just barely crawled out of the first chapter, and I only tried the second chapter because I could not believe I was reading my favorite author and yet disliking it so much. The end of the second chapter was just interesting enough that I kept going. So I kept going. And it was a challenge book and I’m not sorry I read it, but BLAH! I have a few “dragon” books around here to be read and I want to read one of them because I feel unsatisfied. (I’m keeping my fantasy intake down low, while I expand my sci-fi reading intensely; reading for research, breadth and depth on about six five different topics, lol.)

So… there’s your book report for this week? What a nerd am I!

Worlds Apart, the Russian sci-fi/fantasy anthology I’m reading, starts off with two poets’ worth of staggering beauty. I must share. This stuff is too good to keep to myself!

The opening stanza of God by Gavrila Romanovich Derzhavin:

O Thou, in universe so boundless,
Alive in planets as they swarm
Within eternal flow, yet timeless
Unseen, you reign in triune form!
Embracing all, Thy single Spirit
Knows no abode, no cause to stir it,
Nor paths that Reason ever trod,
Who fills, incarnate, all that’s living,
Embracing, keeping and fulfilling,
To Whom we give the name of GOD!

Nerdy note: interesting rhyme scheme here of a,b,a,b,c,c,d,e,e,d. Never seen that one before..!

This second selection is from Autumn by Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. He captures the season (as well as my personal sentiments) in the line, “I bloom anew each time the leaves come whirling down”. Here’s my two favorite stanzas:

The days of waning Autumn almost none admires,
And yet, dear reader, I’ll admit to you I’m drawn
To her calm beauty, to her softly glowing fires;
A slighted child, of whom her family’s not fond,
She lures me to her side. If anyone inquires,
With Autumn’s days alone I feel a joyous bond.
She offers much that’s good; a not vainglorious lover,
I find my fancy really quite enamoured of her.

Enchantment of the eyes! O sweet yet mournful season,
Your splendors as they fade grow dear, and make me glad—
For in her waning days is Nature sumptuous, pleasing,
The forests all in crimson and in gold are clad;
Beneath their shade—the wind-rush, and a freshness breathing,
With coils of swirling haze are now the heavens spread,
A ray of sun is rare, the early frosts come searing,
And other still-faint signs disclose gray winter’s nearing.

Nearly everything I received for my birthday was 1) a book, and 2) science fiction. Neither of these are bad things, naturally, although I’m having to go through my library a bit more and find room. (What things weren’t sci-fi, were space. So that works out fairly well I feel.)

The two that weren’t sci-fi were Universe and Saturn: A New View (a proFOUNDly beautiful book, by the way.) I received this year’s Year’s Best Science Fiction anthology, Orphans of Chaos by John C. Wright (huzzah!), The Demolished Man and Virtual Unrealities by Alfred Bester, and The Two-Space War by Dave Grossman and Leo Frankowski (which I know NOTHING about. Lenneth found it for me on LibraryThing and we were both so entertained by the description that I wishlisted it.)

Probably the neatest fiction book I received was Worlds Apart: An Anthology of Russian Science Fiction and Fantasy by Alexander Levitsky. Levitsky is a Slavic language scholar at Brown University, and he assembled a historical look at Russian fantasy (which includes science fantasy and fiction) that ends (not begins!) around the time that Sputnik launched. Most of the stories are from the 19th century, some are older than that! I have a fascination with Slavic culture (especially the Russian space program), so I’m really looking forward to working through the whole thing.

As announced here, Serenitatis.com is now officially static. (Barring a few more updates in the very near future, stuff that I didn’t finish in time for the version launch last night.) I’m abandoning ship after 11 years.

I’ve had a lot of mixed emotions today, approaching this. It’s been coming for a long time now, but since my job has basically eaten my hobby, I don’t get much joy out of updating my fansites. Fanlistings are easy and low-maintenance (and I still love making buttons, I admit), but the fansites make me feel guilty, sitting around all abandoned and neglected. The last two evenings of thumbnailing for gallery updates were HELL. Awful.

I still love Sailor Moon, but I have no energy, no time, no enthusiasm and no reason not to retire. So I did. See?

Serenitatis v.8, code name v.FINAL is now online. Index is a bit understated but the subpages are (if I say so myself) marvelous. Brad: in case you were tempted, please hold off on announcing the update @ MKnet until I get another post in, explaining the state of the site and what’s happening. You’ll know it when you see it.)

I am one tired webmaster.